Bye bye Bullet...

I haven't blogged in 6 months! In my last post, I announced we're having a baby and in this one I'm afraid to say I lost my first baby: our little old man dog, Bullet.

I'm a big believer that change is good: as I get older obviously change becomes harder but for most of my life, I've been more pro-change than against it.

Almost 5 years ago, I adopted a 10lb Rat Terrier Chihuahua mix. (He was much more Terrier in personality but more Chihuahua in his facial features.) Anyhow, my bond with Bullet was a special one, a difficult one, and a bond I'm very thankful for. He was the most stubborn dog ever, but he was also so sweet and loyal... loved to be loved. Bullet had the cutest walk and loved to snuggle. He also had some serious anxiety disorder issues and some pee problems.

When I chose to adopt Bullet, I was at a place in life where I really needed to learn to embrace commitment. The foster mom I got him from told me if I took him I needed to be prepared to be his forever mom. FOREVER - that just about freaked me out! But, I did take it serious... and after a trial period I realized I needed this dog much more than he needed me. In fact, I'm sure he could have found an owner that was more lovable than I was. My friends often heard me say, that Bullet's job was to help me not be afraid to relational commitments and I would joke with my husband sometimes that if it wasn't for Bullet we wouldn't be together.

When we found out we were pregnant, Bullet was struggling more and more with bladder control. It seemed he had good seasons than bad... but we seemed to be in an ongoing BAD season. We resorted to dog diapers at night and eventually they were day and night too. We were frustrated but I also thought, "I guess Bullet is getting me ready for a baby..."

Now that the baby is near and Bullet is gone I can't help and think about the next phase of change for our family. I have to say though, I'm a big believer God gets us ready for next steps from the most practical and sometimes unusual circumstances too. It's sad to say bye to Bullet but as two friends told me it seems like he came to me to teach me a few lessons and I guess his job is done.

Bye bye Bullet... you'll be missed.
xoxo